For Sale

2 children. Ages 9mos and 2yrs, one w/ blonde hair, one bald. Free if you taken them in the next 20 minutes.

Seriously, though, that's how my day has felt. Let's rewind a bit, though, shall we?

Early Saturday morning, I woke up to the pleasant surprise of having the flu. Ofcourse Hubby didn't feel super either, but, well you know how useful men are when they're even remotely sick. Men sick=completely useless. Anyhow, Saturday I was pretty much down for the count except to lie on the floor next to Little Miss and pretend to play with her. My mom was nice enough to come over while I was in bed during their nap time to help me out. But there's nothing like missing your weekend to make your house disgusting. Anyhow, mid way through my fever induced coma on Saturday night, around 11;30, I heard Little Miss literally screaming in her crib. I kicked Hubby out of bed to see what was wrong. Well, she has thrown up every where. So I got to spend most of the night up with her either in the chair or in my bed. (Oh, and if you were wondering, now both kids have puked on me in one week's time. Super) Anyhow, finally today I was feeling mostly back to normal.

That brings me to the children that I am ready to get rid of. I put them down for their naps today at right around 1pm, like normal. Nothing special about that. Well, about 2 minutes into "nap time" i heard some very loud giggling out of the bedroom. Buddy had climbed in the crib and they're playing. He is put back in his bed with what I thought was stern warning. 2 minutes? Giggling. Stern warning. You can see where this is going. Between him getting up to go potty every 15 minutes, or playing in his room, or teasing his sister, I had about had it. It was now 2pm. I took away his one tv show...Curious George. This wrought from him the scream of "Now I stay in my bed Mommy!!" Too late mister, too late. Now, what brought me to the drastic measure of taking away God's gift to 5:00pm, Curious George?? Well, it could have been all the times he did not listen today. It could have been the large amounts of pureed green beans that I had spit in my face at lunch time, it could have been the fact that our battle of wills started this morning at 5am. It could have been a number of things. But it ended with taking away the beloved monkey.

Did I mention getting spit on at lunch? I was asking myself today, at what point does "creative parenting" become "doing whatever it takes to bribe/entice your kid to do what you want" Where exactly is that line in the sand?? I spent 20 minutes this morning lovingly cooking and blending green beans for Little Miss. Come lunch time all she wanted to do was spit them at me. A loud "NO" brought her to tears....and then covered me in more beans. So I decided to pile the whole bowl worth on her tray. As she squished it with her fingers, I grabbed bits with mine and she ate it off my finger (note, two baby teeth, very strong and very sharp...this did not help my mood for the day). So, is that "creative parenting" or giving into the bean spitting monster??? And, does it really matter? I think she ate like 2oz of bean. Score one for mom in my book.

Little Miss is also crawling now. Finally decided to make the big move to being mobile. I forgot how much fun that was. Buddy is also reaching new milestones...we've gone a number of days with real underwear on. However, yesterday, he went with grandma to the coffee place and had a lot of water. He was playing too hard, ran into the bathroom and just couldn't get the jeans off in time and there was pee everywhere. I came in to tell him it was okay and he was having a breakdown that "my favorite Elmos" were wet. He refused to put underwear back on. Oh the will power of a 2 year old. His new thing if you ask him a question is "let me think about it", he pauses about 15 seconds then "ok, I got it" followed most of the time by "I dont' know". Still cute, thought. We moved LIttle Miss' crib matress down the other day. Something about that makes her feel so big to me now. Like she's a big kid not a baby I can easily kiss good night anymore. Today, on one of my many "go to sleep" nap visits, she had pulled to her knees and was peeking through the crib slats. A big girl, not my baby. How very quickly it goes by. How very quickly...

I think there is a reason that God put sleep at the end of the day. He knew that mothers would be so sick of their children, but there is something about turning the hall light on, opening the bedroom door and looking at a tiny mouth open, or a body sprawled across a bed or a frim grip on a teddy bear (even when sleeping) that makes it all worth while. He knew that for the human race to survive, that sleeping baby image needed to be the last one for the day. I'm off to kiss the kiddos.

Oh yeah, I guess they aren't for sale anymore.

What ever happened to my memory?

Seriously. I think my short term memory decreased by 30% or more every time I had a baby. And, it's not like there aren't a million things to remember anymore. For instance, today, I tried to log onto the business' checking account. After verifying my account number, typing in the "what do you see in this box" text, I got to the questions. now, I know that once upon a time I set these questions up. I recognize them. I know the answers to them (except the, "what is your favorite cartoon character"....I have no idea!!), but son of a gun, I could not get them right. Then, of course I was "locked out" for not knowing my own stupid custom questions. I called the bank, they unlocked the account. I tried again, still the wrong combination of words!! Locked out. Call again, and said, You know what, just cancel the account and let me start over with new questions. then it asked for my internet password!!! Well, if I don't know the answer to my own questions, I highly doubt I know my internet password! Anyhow, I've started to print out the lists of all of these questions, I have a 4 page document w/ all of our log ons and passwords, bc no one requires the same thing. Some want a weird character like *()_&^ in my password. Others, won't allow it. Some need to be 4 letters long, some require capitals and lowercase, some between 8-12 numbers. Honestly, I can't even break into my accounts!! I really hope I don't die, because there is no way Hubby would be able to get money or pay bills!! I've told him where this hugely important document is, but...we'll I've got good money on him not remembering that. (and he doesn't even have the kid excuse!) So, if I had a decent memory, maybe I could remeber 150,000 different log in and pass word combinantions, but Lord knows, I'm trying hard enough to remember where Buddy put his shoes let alone how to get into my bank account. Now, I know all this security is for my protection, I can appreciate that, but I should atleast get some kind of a cheat sheet...it's only fair. Like "what day last week did you get thrown up on" or something I can really remember.