Parenting Pardise

Two days in a row. What a feat.



There were just too many things I forgot in yesterday's post (it had been 2 months, ya know).



So the other morning, Saturday to be exact, the kiddos and I were at home together and I asked them to play together downstairs so I could brush my teeth. So, 20 mintues later, clothing on (sans kids in the closet watching me change) teeth brush (sans kids sticking their heads between my legs), bladder empties (sans kids asking "are you peeing or pooping mommy") I was ready for the day, and things were blissfully quiet in the basement. So, I had two options:

1. Go downstairs to ensure they were both still alive and risk showing my face an ruining whatever magical thing was taking place in the basement

2. Stay the heck out and clean the kitchen.


Being a prudent parent, I obviously chose option 2. (Seriously, would you go down there???) I did creep down the stairs and hide around the corner to hear them talking to eachother. At which point I high-tailed it upstairs. Now, I'm not going to say that it lasted much more than 5 minutes longer (paradise does have time limits), but for that brief moment I found myself smack dab in the middle of parenting paradise: that magical time and place where two (or more) children play in peace. Now, as any parent knows, children are born with an innate ability to annoy, pick on, harass and otherwise make life miserable for a sibling. It's something that doesn't even need to be learned. Why can't it be, like, potty training? No, it has to be a useless skill like sibling annoyance.

Today we went to the bank. For those who don't know, the bank is a magical child kingdom where there is free candy on the counter and a lady known only as "lady" to my children. Her name is actually Linda, but I digress. We've been known to let others pass us in the bank line so that we can see "lady". Buddy is very set on this point. No other teller will do. They know the routine. On Fridays, we go to the PO Box. If there is money in the box, and only then, will we make a trip to the bank (though we have learned of free candy at the CPA's office, too, what luck!). Today, we walked into the bank, and I kid you not, Little Miss screams "LADY" and starts running to the teller counter. Buddy, being older and wiser, knows that he need not do anything, he just walks up and asks for candy and a sticker. In fact, Lady is so nice to my kiddos, that a) she KNOWS Buddy will only approve of a GIRL sticker for Little Miss and a BOY sticker for him. Once, a teller said Buddy had a cute brother and we nearly had a breakdown. She has no hair, and was wearing pink, and he was MIGHTILY offended for her. Again, I digress. So, Lady brings out today's stickers, something to do w/ the lion king and asks me quietly as the kids are picking out a candy "Do you think these will be okay?" Yes, she was checking that he would approve of her sticker choice. Does the boy not run the world??

My final story of life on the home front is once again about the kiddos in harmony. They think it's hillarious to say "brother" or "sister". So, as I brought LIttle Miss down for her nap, they yelled through the hous to eachother over and over "GOOD NIGHT SISTER" "GOOD NIGHT BROTHER" giggle and repeat. Now, that's enough to make the mom smile, just a little. See, they really do love eachother. That and Little MIss looked at me "I love you very much". Kind of makes it all worth it, I guess.

To Three or not to Three.

Seriously, December 20, huh. I knew it was getting bad...but we're already 1/6 of the way done w/ 2009 and I have yet to post anything. For shame.

It occurred to me that you go through stages in life after high school. Forgive me, I'm sure there are many more stages than this, these are just the only ones I've been a part of. First, there's the "everyone is getting married stage". My brother is currently in this stage. You know, the one where you buy 15 wooden salad bowls at Costco in April and just make the rounds for the rest of the year. Then, 3 years or so laters there the "everyone's having a baby stage", where you go through obscene numbers of baby gifts bags (countered only by the fact that you RECEIVED obscene numbers of said bags, so that one is at least free). Like me, I've been out of wedding gift bags for about 4 years. I'm nearing the end of the baby gift bag stash as well. (Warning, if you get a gift bag from me that is hanous....well, you should've poped out the kids a bit earlier. I used up all the cute ones already.) Somewhere admist those stages is the "everyone is buying a house" stage. With the house and baby stage, you kind of stop going out w/ couple friends bc you a) can't find a sitter or b) can't afford a sitter or to go out bc of your house.

Well, I'm currently in the "everyone is making the #3 decision". What stage is this? Well, one kid is a pretty SOP (Standard Operating Proceedure). And 90% seem to think the #2 follows #1. However, there is much dissent in the post-high school-life stages calendar to whether or not a #3 follows a #2. It's like the great divide in families. You spend time talking about it with strangers and friends. You weigh the pros and cons. Because, let's face it, the family of 5 (or 5+) is different than the family of 4. For us, unless God has some kind of sense of humor, #2 is the end of the baby road for us. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm FAIRLY certain that I can keep the two I've got alive. I'm thinking the odds fall pretty drastically if I add another variable into the mix....by variable, I ofcourse mean yet another strong personality into our house.

Little Miss has profected the "death stare" for when 'her majesty' as I call her when talking to Hubby is unhappy. Let me run you through the sequence of events at night:
About 2:20 in the morning, on the dot
1- I awake to crying. It's probably gone on for at least a half hour. I lay there debating whether to go downstairs because it is frigid in the house
2- I get up and go downstairs (sometimes I fall back asleep, but she'll cry for hours until I come down. If I've fallen back to sleep, the "MOOOOOMMMMY" scream usually wakes me back up)
3- I walk count the stairs in the dark to avoid falling down them on my butt
4- I enter her majesty's chambers (aka the bedroom)
her: "MOOOOMMMY ROCK!! ROCK!! ROCK!!" (translation: do what I want or I'll scream)
me: "Mommy will rock you and sing the I love you song, then it's back to bed"
her: a scream/grunt combo that is terrifying to hear first person
me: picks her up
her: "BLANKET"
me: "No, we're only singing one song, you dont' need a blanket"
her: death grip on my right arm.
me: sings lovely song about how much I love her, even though I'm on the fence about that fact at the current moment
Then, I stand up. You know, we agreed on the fact that she would go back to bed, remember? Death grip increases in strength. It is a dance we both know all too well.
me: "Little Miss, Mommy's going back to bed. You are going to bed. You can either lay on your pillow w/ your blankets nicely, or I'll just stick you in the crib and you can cry."
her: grunt scream combo w/ death grip
me: "Fine, you can cry, I'm going to bed"
her: relenting. "blankets?"
me: "yes, I'll put your blankets on." Puts blankets on, gives kiss.
her: "bye mommy, luv you"
It is our little 2am dance. In the end, we both think we won a bit. though, the jury is out on who is correct.

See, probably not a good chance for three to survive, right? :) So, you can count me out of this stage. I'll catch you on the "everyone's kids are starting school" page...plus I'll beat you to the "everyone's kids are out of the house stage". :)

In other news, the plane ride to vacation was not as bad as I thought. Not much fun, but probably doesn't have to be rated as the 8 most excruciating hours of my life.

There's lots more to say, but nap time is over (Buddy has a fever again??), and I'm really supposed to be working.....