Skirt in a sea of pants

Well, so, now I'm not even quasi punctual with this stuff. Oh well.



Quick update: The Club has healed. I am not a normal society member with a finger nail. Woot Woot! The shower incident has not been repeated; I have managed to stay upright for quite a while now.

Well, I’ve started and abandoned at least two of these already. Seems the months are plowing on whether I like it or not. Right now, though, school work is up to date and I’m on a trip for work sitting in my hotel waiting for the boys to go to dinner with no burning desire to tackle the budget reports sitting on the desk across the room or to try to design an ad w/ the finger-mouse. My shoes are on, my contacts are out. The only reason my shoes are on is because they and my socks are so full of dirt right now I know that if I take them off, I will not ever, ever want to have to put them back on. Plus, if I take them off I might fall asleep. I left the house at 4:30…was supposed to leave at 4, but my phone was not charged (darn it!) so I had to hang out for 20 minutes to give it enough juice to call anyone in an emergency since I do not own a car charger…since my phone was $20 and is a prepaid model, I couldn’t’ even find one at Target today. Man I love Target. Target and Costco. They get pretty much all the money that I spend…but then again, I don’t’ really like to spend money, so they’re pretty lucky, I guess.

I am missing Buddy and Little Miss, who I can call Mamadoo. I started calling her Mamadoo (that’s ma’am –a-dooo) a few weeks ago and she says she is not my mamadoo…but that doesn’t stop me from calling her Mamadoo. For a few weeks she was “von-hoobie-doobie” from a book we read. Apparently I don’t like real names. Hubby calls Buddy Frank…which is just plain weird and not at all cute like Mamadoo. Anyhooskies. Took Buddy to get his pictures taken yesterday. Boy did that suck! Nothing like the perma-grimace of a 4 year old. I thought 2 was bad! At least at 2 you can trick them into smiling. At 4, they know better, they don’t laugh at silly antics and look just plain bizarre on film. Anyhow, it’s a moment in time that Sears took care of for me. I don’t’ know if it is just me, but it is like 100 degrees in those photo rooms. I sweat like a pig every time I have to get a kid’s pictures taken. It is quite the ordeal. Buddy is enjoying pre-4, which I have been informed is “way cooler and funner than 3-preschool” (apparently we’re not learning grammar yet!). I’m wondering when my baby learned to say cool and to give thumbs up about stuff. Yesterday we also tried to do Costco and Target and pictures after work and before bed, complete with switching to the work F150 at my office before coming home. (where was I going with this…) oh yeah. Buddy had $10 from his birthday. He got to learn the hard way in Target that $10 doesn’t buy you as much as you might think. I had to keep telling him “no, honey, you don’t’ have enough money for that one”. But, not only is he completely captivated by his new Playmobile dungeon-ball-throwing-something-or-other, but he learned a good lesson about how far money goes and how you have to make choices with what money you have to spend.

In other news, my baby isn’t so much a baby but a big girl complete in princess (or princeies) panties. I only have the occasional poop-in-panties fun job to take care of. She’s really got it down now, though, and before she’s even 2 and a half, I can’t believe it. Plus, she’s pretty much ready for a big girl bed. She even sleeps on a little mat at daycare for her nap. Just lays down and does what she needs to do. I can’t believe that this is the same baby in my camera from Christmas with no hair!! The only time when I get teary about them growing up is looking at pictures. I always feel like “how did it go so fast” and “why didn’t’ I take more pictures when they were babies”. But, then again, they are so much fun now. The other night she helped me make muffins and we playing pretend party, complete with pretend cake and pretend party hats. She can give hugs and tells me “I love you muches to the moon” when she calls me at work. And for that, I think it’s great to have a two year old. One who can tell you stories and hold hands. So, it’s not all bad.

Speaking of being a big girl…I’ve now been back to work for over 3 months and besides the PITA of having to make lunches, it has gone relatively smoothly, I think. The kids love day care and pre-school, and I love being home in time to make snacks and play for a bit before dinner.
It’s odd though. I would’ve never considered myself any type of feminist (and I still don’t) nor would I consider my parents of that persuasion. Lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe it has to do with the fact that we live on one of the coasts, as opposed to the Midwest or something. I just don’t know. Anyhow, the point is that I feel like I’ve grown up in a family or in a mindset of the fact that I could do pretty much anything I wanted to, career and life wise. That just because I’m of the female persuasion means that I need to be submissive to my husband…but doesn’t limit me from being successful in my own right. Now, this is probably coming off wrong, or odd, but I’m getting to something. Hang with me. Now, I work in ag, where it is a anomaly to be a) a woman or b) young. Which I am both. But, I cannot say that I have EVER felt that is a disadvantage in my job or in my company. However, now, I’m in contact with a boss originally from Missouri and other people from other places and their attitude about my ability to do my job has completely caught me off guard. It’s just somewhat foreign to me that anyone would think I’m not capable of something, maybe because I’m so…I’m going to say driven….Hubby might say stubborn, but let’s face it, driven sounds a lot better! J I’ve never felt like the skirt in a pants world, but I have begun to see it a bit, and it is something I’m trying to navigate. Maybe it’s because I’m conflicted already on life and the directions it takes and the person that I am and I try to use the gifts I think I’ve been given. Or maybe it’s just because I AM a woman and I’m hyper sensitive to crap that’s not really there. Or maybe, I need more than 4 hours of sleep at night to form a cohesive paragraph…

As a fam we have a trip planned to Hawaii in December, and I am so freaking excited to go. It’s rather irrational, actually, but I am so excited to spend time with just our family away for a while. I have such happy memories looking at the pictures from Cancun in January…now I’m almost afraid that nothing will live up to my “memory land” vocational ideal. Either way, we decided to shoot the moon and book the Embassy Suites in Hawaii. It was about double what I was planning on spending on lodging, but taking into consideration how much easier it will make life for me, I think it will be totally worth it.

Well, I think I’d better go get some dinner. I think they boys may have gotten side tracked again! Boys.